So… the fam damily has been wanting to go to a movie for several weeks now, but various things have kept us from being able to go. But — FINALLY — we managed to get fed and out the door in time to see a showing of Super 8 at a reasonable hour.
We even found parking up close — it felt like the planets had aligned!!
Then THEY came into the theatre…
A big, spread-out family who sat beside us and behind us.
The father endeared himself to me (NOT!) when, during the previews, he came to have a long discussion with his wife in the row behind us. Then I watched him take the gum out of his mouth and press it on the chair in front of his knees. Karma got him though — this was the very same chair that his dear, darling daughter sat in later.
Then during the first few minutes of the movie… it started. The munching and crunching. The mother, who was sitting directly behind The Boy, started eating her popcorn. Normally, this wouldn’t be a problem, but “Mom” chewed like a goat… open-mouthed and L-O-U-D! And this wasn’t some tiny little box of popcorn — you could’ve bathed a small child in the bucket!
Then there were at least twelve trips back and forth across the aisle in front of us by various members of the family. Now… having a small bladder myself, I’m a little sympathetic… but the twelve trips were done by four people, which meant that either they need to spend some serious time with a urologist, or they were just plain unable to sit still long enough to watch the danged movie!
Then the talking started.
Grampa and his very young — too young for this movie! – grandson couldn’t seem to follow the plot, so they talked… and talked… and talked! They were somewhat quiet, so I could tune them almost totally out after a while, but the occasional humming the grandson did managed to break through every once in a while.
I can’t tell you how many stink eyes The Hubster turned their way… and they never seemed to get the hint.
But the worst?
That was the two young, teen girls who sat in our row… the one with the still-warm gum on the seat.
And they talked… and they squealed… and they questioned or commented on everything.
I asked them to be quiet about 20 minutes in and they looked at me with surprise. Like they didn’t realize that there was anyone other than them in the theatre.
During a major scene that was scary and weird and wild, they got so agitated they were screaming AND talking with no regard for the movie or the rest of the audience.
That’s when I actually yelled at them. “Seriously, girls. STOP TALKING. BE QUIET!!!”
They did… for a few minutes. And their talking for the rest of the movie was a little less awful, but still annoying.
Which made me fantasize about that scene in Scary Movie where the audience kills the annoying girl with the cell phone.
Not that I’d want to kill them… but I did seriously contemplate leaving my seat to get the manager to escort them out.
Worst of all?! They had the balls to give me the stink eye on the way out. I tell ya… I had to work hard not to vault myself over the railing to pummel them into sticky goo. I just returned stink eye for stink eye and they were eventually distracted by something else and walked out.
Seriously?! Isn’t it bad enough that people text — or open their phones in a dark theatre — six or seven times during a showing? Can’t they “unplug” from technology or social interactions long enough to actually take in what a good director and a team of skilled actors and technicians has put together for them? Can’t they find something better to do with their $8 than to come to a movie they have no real interest in — CAN’T THEY GO SIT IN THEIR OWN LIVING ROOMS AND HAVE DISCUSSIONS?!
Anyway, it made me think of this report… and the funny, and biting way they got back at a patron who felt her needs were greater than the rest of the paying customers at the theatre where she couldn’t resist texting, despite the posted information about their policy of escorting people from the theatre if they disturbed others with their behavior.
Gotta love karma — she make work slowly, but she sure does have a great sense of humor when she does!